Have you ever tried—and failed—to change your natural preferences to fit what someone else thought you should be?

When I started my counseling internship years ago, I was preoccupied with learning to dress professionally.

I watched hours of What Not to Wear, and like a marathoner guzzling Gatorade, I gulped down Clinton and Stacy’s advice on how to be fashionable and polished. I learned that bright colors and patterns were compelling; neutrals were boring. Well, I didn't want to be boring...