When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Mistakes
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Photo by anthony tran on unsplash
A couple of weeks ago, I was interviewed for an online summit.
I hadn’t done anything like it since last year before Wesley was born, and to be honest, despite preparing beforehand, I felt a little rusty.
After logging into Zoom and spending several minutes chatting with the gal hosting the summit, I glanced at my camera pane and noticed that I was wearing mismatched earrings! I’d been trying to decide between two pairs and had forgotten to put on my final selection.
Feeling sheepish but grateful that I’d caught my faux pas before the recorded portion of the interview began, I explained to my host and made a quick switch.
Then, during the introduction, I fumbled my response to a question (ironically, it was a question about life in Alaska that threw me off—normally I have plenty to say about that!)
And midway through the conversation—too late to remedy it—I realized my lighting was poor, making my background shadowy.
Really, it was nothing too cringeworthy, and I think the rest of the conversation went well. But afterward, all I could think about were my mistakes, and I felt an urge to pick my performance apart. To apologize because what I offered wasn’t perfect.
NOT BY MIGHT
As I caught myself doing this, I had to remind myself yet again:
Yes, we’re called to steward and develop the gifts God’s given us and, yes, aiming for excellence is a worthy goal. But ultimately, it’s not about me and my ability. It’s about GOD moving through my humble offering.
You can be sure that next time, I’m going to make sure my lighting is better and my earrings match. But I’m also doing my best to break up with the idea that perfection is what gives my work power. Because it’s not by might and self-striving but by God's Spirit that the work He’s given me to do will be accomplished (see Zechariah 4:6).
YOUR COURAGEOUS OFFERING
How about you? Have you been nitpicking your performance?
Maybe you feel embarrassed about the solo you sang at church, or perhaps you’re wrestling with self-doubt about a project you presented at work.
Can I ask…
Have you done your best?
Have you courageously offered your time and talents?
I’m guessing your answer is probably yes.
And you know what?
That’s really all we can do! So have grace for yourself and rest in the knowledge that your offering is a pleasing fragrance to God.
If you feel you need to grow or improve in a certain area, by all means, reach out to a trusted friend or mentor who can help you grow. But don’t beat yourself up. Jesus is a gentle Shepherd, not a mean schoolmaster. ♡
As always, you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I’d love to hear from you! You can contact me here or through the comment section below!
In purpose and faith,
P.S. Life with a baby boy is busy!
You may have noticed that I didn’t share my End of the Month resource post last month (actually, you may have noticed I haven’t shared anything in a bit—this summer has just flown by and ended up being busier than I expected!).
After much consideration and due to the fact that I have less time to write and work on online resources than I used to because I’m busy with my baby boy, I’ve decided to hit pause on that monthly post. However, I plan to still share a few highlights and everyday joys at the end of my regular posts. I hope you enjoy this new format and thank you for understanding!
Everyday joy…
Walking at our favorite bird refuge—I didn’t get any pictures of the geese this time, but there were a lot there—a sure sign of fall!
I painted a funny little cheetah! I still don’t have much time for art, but I sure am enjoying the time I get!
What brought you joy this past month? I'd love to hear about it!
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