Feeling Unmotivated? This Could Be the Underlying Reason Why
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Photo by ZACHARY STAINES on Unsplash
Usually, I get pretty excited about a new year. But this past new year, instead of taking pleasure in planning and delight in dreaming, I felt a resistance to anything that required any kind of mental effort.
I didn’t feel like setting goals or marking up my new calendar. I didn't even feel like writing, which is something I normally enjoy.
I knew that 2021 had taken a toll on me and that I was in desperate need of a break. So, I planned some time off in mid-January, hoping that it would help me perk back up.
And it did help, some. But as I approached the end of my staycation, I still felt depleted. It was clear that my soul still needed help—a restoration of some kind—but I didn’t know what else to do to help the process.
GETTING TO THE ROOT
Then one morning in late January, I was praying about my struggles when this thought entered my mind: Maybe I should write down everything hard that has happened in this past year.
I didn’t start writing down the hard things right away, but I made a mental note to journal about it at another time.
Later that day, I decided to listen to an episode of John Eldredge’s Wild at Heart podcast. In it, he described a very similar experience to mine. He said as he entered 2021, his “heart would not come along” when it came to planning and feeling excited about a new year.
Then one night, he felt the Lord tell him to take out a pad of paper and write down every loss he’d experienced in 2020. He went on to say that God met him in an amazing way during that time, and he came to realize that “the reason my heart couldn’t move into a new year was that it actually hadn’t finished business with what had been…a pretty awful year.”
By this point in the episode, I was in tears. I knew God was confirming what I had sensed that morning, so I went ahead and pulled out my journal right then and there and started a list of the things that had caused me pain and loss in 2021.
There was one thing in particular that stood out, and I realized that, though I had done my best to process the situation at the time it happened, there was still some unresolved grief. Just like John Eldredge, I had unfinished business from the previous year, but also like John Eldredge, God met me in the tear-stained pages of my journal and ministered to my heart.
RENEWED ENTHUSIASM
Healing is a process, and I know God is still working in my heart in this area, but I found that just acknowledging and recognizing the source of my pain did a lot to ease it. And in the following days and weeks, I started to feel my emotional and mental energy returning. I started feeling able to dream and plan, and I felt a fresh excitement about what God has in store for 2022.
Not long after all this, I wrote this poem as a sort of combination prayer/thank you to God for His work of restoration in my heart:
When the weight of the last months hangs heavy
Like a lead apron
And the Big Dipper doesn’t seem big enough
To plumb the sadness pooling in my chest,
And instead of inspiring,
The empty spaces on my calendar scoff
At the thought of fresh dreams and hopeful plans,
I seek You.
I surrender my painful past and wait
For Your solace,
Trusting that You will restore my soul
And along with it, the locust-ravaged years,
Freeing me to run into the arms of a new season
And make friends with the future.
SEEKING THE GOOD SHEPHERD
How about you, my friend?
Do you relate to my experiences and the sentiments expressed in my poem?
Is the weight of the past months, or even the last couple of years, hanging over you like a heavy lead apron?
Do you feel like your heart is just not in your work, ministry, or whatever you feel called to in this season?
Are you feeling demotivated or discouraged, particularly when it comes to setting goals, planning, or dreaming, and you’re just not sure how to get your zest for life back?
If so, it could be that there is unfinished business—perhaps unresolved grief, a damaged relationship, or a disappointed dream—that needs attention. As you seek soul restoration, I encourage you to spend some time in God’s presence. Ask Him honest questions, and listen quietly for His answers. He knows exactly what your soul needs in this season, and He will be faithful to help you find it.
And if you’re just not sure where to start, I encourage you to try journaling. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Just find a piece of paper and make a bullet list of what’s been on your heart and mind lately. Offer it to God, and tell Him that you trust Him to restore the hurting parts of your heart.
Our Good Shepherd has the power to restore our souls, and I hope my story of how God has been doing some restoring and reinvigorating in my heart encourages you and reminds you that He can and will do the same for you!
As always, you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I’d love to hear from you! You can contact me here or through the comment section below!
In purpose and faith,
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