Jesus Said No to People Pleasing—And Why You Should Too
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Photo by gian cescon via unsplash
Initially, I had planned to attend the meeting. After all, it had been dubbed “very important,” and I was urged to be present.
But as the appointed day approached, I felt a distinct check in my spirit. I sensed the Lord communicating that though this meeting was important, it wasn’t important for me to be there. I felt Him reminding me to stay in my own lane and devote my time to other projects He had given me.
Which meant I was going to have to say no…
As a recovering people pleaser, I couldn't help feeling nervous. I hate letting people down, and I sometimes worry about what other people will think of me if I decline a request. When the time came to let the leader of the meeting know that I would not be there, old fears came swarming back: What if they think I don’t care about them? Or that I’m selfish? Or unspiritual?
But in the midst of these worries, I stopped and reminded myself of an important truth: The ability to be selective in regard to which requests I accept is essential to fulfilling my purpose.
If I say yes to everything, I spread myself too thin and nothing of importance gets done. However, if I am able to strategically say no to some things, I create space to say yes to the things that matter most—the things I know without a doubt that God wants me to focus on.
LOVING ENOUGH TO SAY NO
While we tend to equate saying yes with being “loving” and saying no with being “unloving,” in actuality, declining a request is not necessarily unloving. In fact, when it paves the way for obedience and enables us to accomplish our individual callings, it can be the most loving and godly thing we can do.
Just look at Jesus. He was the most loving person to walk the planet, but He was not a people pleaser.
Jesus had a very clear understanding of His purpose and He also understood that if He was going to accomplish His mission of redeeming humankind—the ultimate expression of love—He couldn’t be controlled by other people’s expectations.
He was fully committed to following the leadership of His Father, and if anyone asked Him to do something that contradicted what His Father wanted Him to do, He simply opted not to.
JESUS’ EXAMPLE
Though choosing not to comply with the wishes of others can be stressful, reflecting on Jesus’ example never fails to give me the courage I need to be intentional with my yeses and nos.
As nice as it is when people are happy with me, no amount of people pleasing will ever be worth the cost of disappointing God. He’s the Person I want to please most.
How about you? Do you too find it hard to say no? Does the prospect of turning down an invitation make your stomach flip-flop like a fish caught on a line?
If so, I encourage you to consider some of the biblical passages that highlight Jesus’ willingness to decline requests, even when it meant displeasing others.
There are many such passages in the Gospels, but if you want a few to get started, I recently had an article published by iBelieve that I think you’ll find helpful. It’s titled 3 Times Jesus Said No to People Pleasing and you can find it here. I hope you check it out and that it encourages and inspires you!
As always, you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I’d love to hear from you! You can contact me here or through the comment section below.
In purpose and faith,
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